Return from the dark

It's been a long time since I've written a word.
My dad died in between - on March 16 last.
It's been emptiness since.
He was my best friend.
We escaped together from the madness of the world.
Strange thing death.
I watched him pass away.
His last breath. It was very real. His eyes closed.
He wasn't conscious - but was still very much alive until the end.
It is a clak, the haleine.
It's not so much to be dreaded.
Part of life.
But when someone you have loved is gone, it is hard to fill the void.
What you can't do awake, you do in sleep.
Dreams ease the pain of the reality of death.
Sleep becomes a refuge.
As do moments alone.
The dark corners away from the glare of humanity and its tumult.
Ah to be alone, curled up to the chest, eyes buried in boney knees.
No-one can see me, hear the sob.
But that self pity - for that's all it is - cannot last forever.
You have to shake yourself up.
Stand tall again.
Be strong for those who are still alive.
That's why I'm back.
I need to disgorge myself of the locked up words.
They crawl around inside my head disjointed.
They need to be spilled out onto paper again.
I need to be reborn. Just like my dad.
And together we'll make the world anew.